Domestic violence typically occurs within the home, in marriages, partnerships or family settings. Therefore, the perpetrators are people the victims have close relationships with. This complex dynamic makes it difficult for victims to leave.

Domestic violence often follows a recurring pattern, with incidents rarely being isolated occurrences and typically escalating in frequency and severity over time. The same applies to stalking. This is precisely why it is important to document incidents of violence – a process you can initiate yourself.

Experts recommend that you start documenting any acts of violence as early as possible. Best at the first sign of discomfort, unease, or as soon as you experience health issues such as sleep disorders, anxiety, depression, high stress levels, or low self-esteem.

For many victims of violence, saving any kind of evidence on their own cell phone is risky, particularly if their partner displays controlling behavior and monitors their phone.

That's why we have developed Safe withyou, a tool specifically designed to provide victims with a secure and independent platform to store evidence of violence and stalking.

If you document incidents of violence, you can...

• better identify unhealthy relationship patterns. It is particularly difficult to spot the signs of emotional violence. Keeping a diary can aid in this process, it is important to save any derogatory or threatening messages. Additionally, the withyou questionnaire can assist you in recognizing the warning signs.
• better assess whether your safety is at risk and take appropriate action, including reporting to the police. They can provide protective measures or support you in filing a criminal complaint. Be particularly careful if you want to leave the abusive relationship, as violence can escalate. Seek advice from support services available in your area.
• better prepare for criminal proceedings. Prosecuting cases of domestic violence and stalking is often challenging due to a lack of evidence and witnesses. Therefore, the more evidence you can gather, the better prepared you will be for legal action. If you are considering filing a complaint or have questions about criminal proceedings, we recommend you contact a victim counseling center.

Violence can manifest in various forms, often starting subtly and escalating over time. Try to document incidents as early and in as much detail as you can.

• Screenshots of chat records (e.g. threats against you or others, suicide threats, derogatory remarks, humiliation, verbal abuse).
• Screenshots of missed calls when dealing with telephone harassment.
• Voice messages, audio recordings, or video recordings.
• Diary entries to document cases of stalking or experiences of emotional abuse.

Identifying emotional violence can be challenging as it leaves no physical scars. Victims often experience a sense of unease they struggle to comprehend. Take note if your partner or somebody else devalues, insults, offends, threatens or intimidates you, exhibits excessive jealousy, or engages in gaslighting by making you doubt your perceptions and memories.

• Photos of injuries, ensuring you are clearly visible and recognizable in the photo. We recommend that you have your injuries documented by a doctor
• Photos of property damage (e.g. broken objects, damage within the home)
• Video and audio recordings (violence against you or third parties)
• Medical reports (family doctor, hospital, emergency ward)

Remember, the more detailed evidence you gather, the stronger your case will be.

If you have called the police after an act of violence or have been hospitalized, your injuries will be documented in a police report and/or a patient file. These documents can be used as evidence in legal proceedings.

Stalking is a serious crime but, in many cases, hard to prove beyond reasonable doubt. Keeping a detailed diary of all stalking incidents, including repeated unwanted messages or calls, monitoring, and harassment, can be immensely helpful Also make sure to save any evidence (e.g. threatening messages, photos).

Stalking behaviors usually encompass various actions and can have long-lasting detrimental effects on health and quality of life, including loss of control, social withdrawal, chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and nightmares. Many stalkers are ex-partners or former acquaintances who are unable to let go of the relationship.

An accurate and detailed record of incidents of violence is crucial, especially if you intend to press charges.

When recording an incident, we recommend that you also write down the date and time of your image, video and audio files («time stamp») in the comments field (check under «properties»).

Why should you do this? When downloading your files, the time stamp of your image, video and audio files may change due to technical reasons. This means the time and date no longer matches the incident. This happens automatically with many programs and also when you send, edit or move a file with another program.

If you are ready to press charges, the time stamp is important for the police. That's why it is necessary that you describe the incident in as much detail as you can, including time stamps.

All your uploaded data is encrypted and accessible only to you. Your account is protected by a login that you choose yourself and, as an added layer of security, 2-factor identification (2FA).

Your data is protected and will not be lost, even if you encounter technical problems when using Safe withyou.

We are here for you: contact us at info@with-you.ch if you need support or want to give us feedback.

Dealing with stalkers is never easy. Here are a few tips:

• Break off contact: Experts recommend that you make it very clear to the stalker that you do not want any contact. Do this only once and in writing. After that, refrain from responding to messages as this could be encouraging to the person stalking you. Stalkers usually want a reaction whether it’s positive or negative.
• Document evidence: Keep a stalking diary with as much detail as possible. Do not delete text messages or emails or any other evidence. This information will be invaluable if you decide to get authorities involved.
• Let people know: Stalkers may attempt to gather information from your circle of friends, family, or co-workers. Informing the people around you can turn them into important witnesses who can provide support and watch out for you.
• Get help: Take action as early as possible. Contact a victim advisory center and/or the police. In many instances, the harassment stops as soon as authorities are involved.

Many acts of domestic violence are punishable under the Swiss Criminal Code (SCC). There are two types: some are crimes that the police will investigate automatically (official offense), while others need a complaint from the victim to start an investigation (offense prosecuted on complaint).

Important: If you not sure whether you want to report the abuse, contact a victim advisory center. They can explain the process in more detail and help with your decision-making. In an emergency, however, you should always contact the police on 117.

In any case, we recommend seeking help and advice when making your decision.

When?

An official offense is when the authorities start the legal process on their own. If the police find out about an official offense, they will start the legal process automatically.

What?

Official offenses include (but are not limited to):

• Coercion (act of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats)
• Assaults with a weapon or dangerous object
• Repeated assaults
• Serious bodily injury
• Sexual assault and rape
• Multiple assaults and threats within a marriage or partnership up to one year after separation or divorce

When?

The offense must be reported by the victim. Note that you have three months after the incident to do so.

What?

Offenses prosecuted on complaint include (but are not limited to):

• One-time assaults (e.g. slap in the face)
• Insults
• Trespassing (e.g. in cases of stalking)

If you store incidents using Safe withyou, you can conveniently download all your collected evidence in PDF format and hand it over to the police or other authorities, if you choose to do so.