Digital violence in relationships

Digital violence is real violence. If your partner is overly jealous, monitors you, or makes you feel trapped, seek help from a victim support center. These services are anonymous, confidential, and free: 

If you feel threatened or are in immediate danger, contact the police:

• Emergency numbers: 112 or 117
• For medical emergencies: 144

Talk to friends or people you trust – they can support and accompany you.

Protect your phone from unwanted access

• Enable Two-Factor Authentication on your Google account
• Choose a Strong Password: Open Settings > Security & privacy > Device unlock > Screen lock and select the type or length of passcode you'd like to use
• Use Biometrics: Settings > Security & privacy > Device unlock > Fingerprint Unlock > Add fingerprint

Switch off location services

• On your device, open Settings.
• Tap Google and then All services and then Personal & device safety and then Find My Device.
• Check that «Use Find My Device» is turned off.

Remove unwanted connected devices

• Go to your Google account: 
• Your device section
• Remove unwanted devices
• Go to Recent Security Activity to check who and which device has been connected to your account

What is "Advanced Protection" mode?

Advanced Protection bundles your Android device's strongest security features under a single setting, protecting you against rare but sophisticated cyberattacks. The feature is available from Android 16 onwards.

• Open the "Settings" app.
• Go to "Security & privacy" and tap "Advanced Protection" (depending on your device, found under "Other settings").
• Turn on the "Device protection" toggle, confirm with "Turn on", and restart your device when prompted.

When Advanced Protection is enabled, the device does not work as usual. To reduce the attack surface, certain apps, features, and connections are heavily restricted for security reasons. Some features may not be available.

Protect your phone from unwanted access

• Enable Two-Factor Authentication on Your Apple Account: Open Settings > [your name] > Sign-In & Security, then tap «Two-Factor Authentication” if it says “Off.” Follow the onscreen instructions to enable it.
• Choose a strong password: Open Settings > Face (or Touch) ID & Passcode > then tap «Turn Passcode On» or «Change Passcode», then tap «Passcode Options» and choose the type or length of passcode you'd like to use.
• Use Biometrics: Open Settings > Face (or Touch) ID & Passcode. Follow the onscreen instructions to register your face or fingerprint.

Switch off location services

• Open Settings > [your name] > Find My, then disable «Find My iPhone».

Remove unwanted connected devices

• Go to the Find My app on your iPhone.
• Tap Devices at the bottom of the screen, then tap the name of the device you don’t recognize.
• Tap Remove This Device, then tap Remove.
• Do a security check: on your iPhone, go to Settings > Privacy & Security > Safety Check.

Learn about “Lockdown Mode”

Lockdown Mode helps protect devices against extremely rare and highly sophisticated cyber-attacks. Learn more.

• Open the Settings app, then Privacy & Security > Lockdown Mode, and tap Turn on Lockdown Mode.
• Tap Turn on & Restart, enter your passcode, and wait for your device to restart.
  

When Lockdown Mode is enabled, your device will not function like it typically does. To reduce the attack surface that potentially could be exploited by highly targeted mercenary spyware, certain apps, websites, and features are strictly limited for security and some experiences might not be available at all.

If your partner tracks your location without your consent, it's a form of control and surveillance. Seek help – excessive control is emotional abuse, both online and offline (link to help centers).

What you can do:

• Change all passwords and use secure passwords (at least 12-14 characters with a mix of letters, numbers, and symbols). Using a password manager can help you avoid having the same password on each platform. It generates a password for each website and saves them inside the app.
• Disable location services in your phone’s settings (you can find them through the search engine). Check out the first two questions of this FAQ for tips for Android and iPhone.
• Check which apps have access to your location, especially if you use cloud services like Google or iCloud. Check out the first two questions of this FAQ for tips for Android and iPhone.
• With the AirGuard app (developed by TU Darmstadt), you can check if trackers like AirTags or SmartTags are following you. The app alerts you if a tracker keeps showing up nearby and works on both iOS and Android.
• Regularly delete your location history in navigation apps like Google Maps.
• Use a VPN to hide your IP address. What is a VPN?
• Document suspicious activity with screenshots and store them safely on Safe withyou. 

Stalkerware (sometimes also called spyware) is used to secretly monitor you. Signs of this include sudden battery drain, unexplained data usage, or unusual pop-ups.

What you can do:

• Change all passwords and use secure passwords (at least 12-14 characters with a mix of letters, numbers, and symbols). Using a password manager can help you avoid having the same password on each platform. It generates a password for each website and saves them inside the app.
• Check for unknown apps or changed settings.
• Review app permissions for camera, microphone, and location access.
• If you find a suspicious app, research whether it’s necessary or a system app. If not, delete it.
• Take screenshots of anything suspicious and save them securely on Safe withyou.
• Update your operating system to the latest version.
  
• Back up important files and reset your device if suspicions persist. Save all important documents before resetting!
• You can also install Malware detection apps like «Malwarebytes», «Avast» or «Bit Defender» and run a scan. However, most stalkerware does not get detected by malware detection as they can be parental control apps like «mSpy».

Digital harassment can occur through calls, texts, or social media. Ex-partners may use these channels to humiliate, spread lies, or intimidate you.

What you can do:

• Block the person on any platform and device.
• Report harassment to the platform (social media, etc.).
• Document everything with screenshots and store them securely on Safe withyou.
• If necessary, seek help from a support center or the police.

Someone has created or shared intimate or sexual images or videos of you without your consent. This can take different forms:

• Real images of you, including ones taken without your knowledge
• Images or videos that have been faked or altered using AI, such as deepfakes or deepnudes
• Threats to publish such content in order to put pressure on you (this is called sextortion)

This is image-based sexual violence. This form of violence has increased significantly in recent years, because AI now makes it easy to create deceptively realistic images. People who do this usually want to control, humiliate, or intimidate you.

Many people who experience this feel anxious, helpless, or depressed, like they have lost control over their own life. This is a completely normal reaction to something that is not okay. This is not your fault.

What you can do

Report the content quickly to stop it from spreading. If this feels like too much to handle on your own, a trusted person can do it for you.

• Preserve evidence: Take screenshots and document URLs, metadata, and all relevant details such as the platform, date, time, and account. This evidence can be stored safely in the online storage Safe with you.
  Important: saving sexualised content involving minors may be a criminal offence. In this case, it is better to go directly to the police with the device or URL.
• Don't share it — report it: Do not share or comment on the content, as this increases its visibility. Instead, report it as quickly as possible using the reporting tools of the relevant platform (e.g. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook) or via search engines like Google. Note: having content removed from search results does not mean it disappears entirely from the internet.
• Report content to specialist platforms: Depending on the situation, the following resources are available: for content involving minors, clickandstop.ch and Fedpol are the appropriate contacts in Switzerland. Adults can turn to Stop NCII (Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse), which helps contain the spread and have content removed.
• Get help: Digital violence is real violence. You are not alone. Reach out to a victim support centre and talk about what happened to you. Professionals can support you anonymously, free of charge, and confidentially as you take the next steps.
• Contact the police: We also recommend reporting the case to the police and filing a formal complaint.

If someone changes passwords or blocks access to financial or administrative resources (bank accounts, tax accounts, social benefits), this is economic violence and should be taken seriously.

What you can do:

• Try to reset your password and secure your email account.
• Change all passwords and use secure passwords (at least 12-14 characters with a mix of letters, numbers, and symbols). Using a password manager can help you avoid having the same password on each platform. It generates a password for each website and saves them inside the app.
• Contact your bank or institution directly.
• Document all changes and suspicious activity on Safe withyou.
• Get support from a victims center and/or seek legal advice if necessary.

Sometimes, a parent may use children’s tablets, computers, or smart devices to monitor or control the other parent.

What you can do:

• Change all passwords and use secure passwords (at least 12-14 characters with a mix of letters, numbers, and symbols). Using a password manager can help you avoid having the same password on each platform. It generates a password for each website and saves them inside the app.
• Disable location tracking on the mobile phone. You can find instructions for Android and iPhone in this FAQ.
• Check children’s devices for suspicious apps or settings.
• Ensure no unauthorized access to family accounts.
• If your child is active on social media, review what is being shared. Photos can reveal someone’s location.
• With the AirGuard app (developed by TU Darmstadt), you can check whether trackers such as AirTags or SmartTags are tracking your child’s location (for example, hidden in a toy). The app alerts you when a tracker appears repeatedly nearby and works on iOS and Android.
• Document suspicious activities and save evidence on Safe withyou.
• Seek support from support centers or legal aid.

When you’re leaving a relationship – especially if you’ve experienced violence or control – it’s important to also protect your digital safety.
Ask yourself: Which accounts are connected to me? Who has access to my devices or my data?

Passwords & access

• Change all your passwords (email, social media, online banking, shopping, etc.).

• Choose strong, unique passwords for each account.

• Turn on two-factor authentication (2FA) wherever possible.

Linked accounts & devices

• Check cloud services (like iCloud, Google, Dropbox): Which devices or accounts are connected? Remove any you don’t recognize.

• Disconnect or delete links to apps such as public transport, loyalty cards, fitness trackers, smart-home devices, or online shops.

• Run a Safety Check (built into most smartphones) and remove unknown devices or apps.

Device settings & location

• Turn off location sharing to prevent your whereabouts from being tracked. You can find a guide in the FAQ.

• Regularly review your apps: if you don’t recognize one – even if it looks like a system app – delete it to be safe. Real system apps can’t be deleted.

Updates & privacy

• Keep your operating system and apps up to date. Updates often include important security fixes.

• Be careful with photos and social media posts – they can contain location data that reveal where you are.

If your ex-partner still has access to your smart device, like your smart radiator system or your refrigerator, it is important to take steps to secure it. Here’s what you can do:

• Change the account password and use a secure password (at least 12-14 characters with a mix of letters, numbers, and symbols). Using a password manager can help you avoid having the same password on each platform. It generates a password for each website and saves them inside the app.
• If your smart radiator is controlled via an app, log in and change the password immediately. Make sure to use a strong, unique password.
• Remove Unauthorized Access
• Check the app settings to see if they are still logged in or listed as a user. If the system allows multiple users, remove their access.
• Reset the Device
• Most smart radiators have a factory reset option. Look up the manufacturer’s instructions to reset the device and set it up again under a new account.
• Secure Your Wi-Fi: If they had access to your Wi-Fi, change your Wi-Fi password and ensure that guest access is disabled.
• Check for Linked Smart Home Accounts: If your smart device is connected to a larger system like Google Home, Alexa, or Apple HomeKit, review the linked accounts and remove any unauthorized users.
• Contact Customer Support.
• If you are unable to remove them from the system, reach out to the manufacturer’s customer support. They may be able to help you regain full control.

No. Secretly spying on a phone or computer is illegal.

What you can do:

• Document evidence (e.g., screenshots) and upload it to our secure online safe Safe withyou.
• Seek support from a support center or get legal assistance.