Toxic relationships
It can be difficult to figure out where your relationship stands. What is a healthy relationship, and what is an unhealthy one? When does a relationship become toxic?
Love Bombing
«You are the love of my life»
In toxic relationships, things often progress very quickly. Early on, you are showered with lots of attention, compliments, promises and gifts, even if you don’t know each other well. It can feel too good to be true. And it often is. Love bombing is a tactic used to manipulate someone into a relationship and create emotional dependence. This strategy is not limited to the dating phase or the beginning of a relationship; it can also occur after conflicts and abusive incidents. The goal is to regain trust and affection. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic designed to exert control over someone, and it should not be taken lightly. Tensions and overreactions
«You always create drama»
In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable being yourself and expressing your feelings and wants without fearing your partner's reaction. If you often find yourself anxious about saying or doing the «wrong» thing, or you frequently feel tense or pressured to change your behavior, then these are signs of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. Excessive jealousy
«You are mine»
«Is strong jealousy a sign of greater love?» The answer is no. Intense jealousy is not proof of love. While a certain level of jealousy is normal – after all, we do not want to lose someone we care about – strong jealousy is rooted in control and possessiveness. In toxic relationships, intense jealousy often becomes a recurring issue. If you begin to feel restricted in your relationship and find that even spending time with friends becomes a problem, it shows that what you are experiencing is no longer love. Controlling behavior and monitoring
«You have to tell me where you are»
Controlling behavior can take many forms: you may feel pressured to respond to messages immediately, or you are expected to share your location, so your partner knows where you are. You might be asked for your phone password or have your private messages read. Your partner may even keep tabs on your social media activity. These behaviors violate boundaries, can escalate, and might seriously affect your daily life. Manipulation (Gaslighting)
«You’re imagining things. I never said that»
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation intended to confuse and control you. It involves lying or distorting facts to make you doubt your perception of reality. The goal is to make you feel that your feelings and memories are invalid or unimportant. Gaslighting often begins subtly and can lead to serious consequences, including a loss of self-confidence, depression, and anxiety. This is why recognizing gaslighting early on is crucial. Isolation
«You've got me, what do you need your friends for?»
At the beginning of a relationship, it is common to want to spend all your time with your partner. However, in toxic relationships, this can gradually lead to social isolation. If your partner tries to control who you see or what you do, it is a red flag. This behavior typically stems from a desire to exert influence and power over you – because the fewer friends you have, the more dependent you become on your partner. This social isolation, often combined with a fear of being alone, can make it incredibly difficult to end the relationship.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and open communication. No relationship is perfect – conflicts, arguments and differences of opinion are normal. Just because a relationship is challenging or strained does not mean it is toxic. Similarly, not everyone who hurts our feelings is automatically toxic.
For a relationship to have a healthy balance, it is important that both partners are willing to take responsibility for their actions and make compromises.
In toxic relationships, this balance is missing. They drain more energy than they provide and often leave us feeling anxious and insecure. In these relationships, emotional violence is common.
It often begins with a nagging gut feeling: «Something does not feel right». Yet, many people find it hard to identify what exactly feels off.
- Important: Trust your gut feeling and seek support if you are feeling uneasy in your relationship. Our questionnaire can help you gain clarity.
Toxic relationships are often more complex than expected:
- Violent incidents and violations of boundaries are usually invisible. Violence is not limited to physical harm; it can also manifest as emotional violence, leaving deep scars. Toxic relationships can escalate into physical violence but do not have to.
- There may be a clear power imbalance, with one person controlling and dominating the other. However, this is not always the case: sometimes both partners hurt and control each other. Toxic dynamics can develop on both sides.
- It can be challenging to understand the dynamics. A relationship becomes harmful when unhealthy behaviors, violations of boundaries, and violent incidents happen regularly over an extended period. If you often feel unhappy and your daily life is negatively affected, this serves as a significant warning sign.
Toxic behavior can manifest in different ways. The good news is that the warning signs are identifiable, as they often follow a common pattern. In the roadmap above, we highlight some of these signs.